Loveless Valentine's
by Gigglepud
Summary: In which Hijikata misses Mitsuba on Valentine's day, and loneliness clings to him. GinHiji and HijiMitsu oneshot. Written for Little Fanfictions' Valentine's Special on Tumblr.


**Valentines Day Special [Gintama: GinHijiMitsu]  
><strong>_By Gigglepud_

Gun-metal blue eyes watched the flickering smoke floating from his cigarette butt. The bitter taste of tobacco clings to his mouth as he inhales, and Hijikata can feel a sense of relaxation rush through his body.

He closes his eyes and let the tobacco surround him on this winter day, shutting down his mind to think of nothing at all. The air is frosty and his fingers numb from the chill, but it weakens his senses and softens the pain.

Chattering turns his attention away from the cigarette to see a young brown coloured hair teen run past across the street. It's the 1st Squad Captain of the Shinsengumi, and Hijikata is surprised Sougo isn't trying to take his life. It falls into place when a redhead Yato shortly follows, chasing with her umbrella in one hand, and a squashed heartshaped chocolate box in the other.

Even Sougo has found a valentine of sorts.

Hijikata looks away with a sigh, and stands up from the rigid steel bench of the park. It had been a great place to bury his stress, but he didn't want to see people today.

He is walking out the park when he bumps into something small; he looks down to see a pair of small children.

"Oh, sorry," he mutters, and turns to walk away. The tug on his shirt stops him, and he turns to look into the bright grey eyes of a small girl.

"Mister, why are you out alone today? It's Valentines day!" Only then, does Hijikata realise she was holding onto the hand of her companion.

"Valentines day, huh?" Hijikata echoes with a bitter laugh. "It's been a long time since I've cared about today."

"Surely Mister has someone waiting for you! Or have you been dumped by your girlfriend?"

The young girl is ignorant to his pain, and so the raven-haired man simply shakes his head before he walks away.

The last time he celebrated Valentines Day, the weather had been even cooler, but he had been filled with nothing but warmth. The homemade chocolate he tasted was better than any he could find in shops, but it was the woman with him that made it heaven.

He would hold her hand, and their tender fingers embraced as they sat on the veranda, leaning on his shoulder and gazing out at the sunrise. They would talk of nothing important, but simply enjoy each others' presence; simply savour being there.

But nothing is _there _anymore. Edo is a long way from where they had created those dear memories, and he himself had thrown away the chance to be with her.

He traced her name on his left palm with his right index finger, carefully spelling out each letter. Then closing his finger into his fist, he held it close to his heart.

Hijikata was the figure of loneliness as he wondered through the streets. Couples clung the each other as they walked, stopping at shops and laughing with happiness. The shops have decorated themselves with pink red heart-shaped stickers, and stores of all sorts are selling roses and a box of chocolate.

Choosing a random shop with the fewest people, he enters to buy the cheapest box of chocolates. He shakes his head when the salesclerk asks whether to wrap it up.

The heart-shaped tin feels weird in his hands, but it doesn't stop him from ripping open the packaging and stuffing three pieces at a time down his throat.

He stops after six pieces; the chocolate doesn't give the same tranquility effect like a cigarette, and it's just too sweet. But never as sweet as _she_ was. Nothing will ever be sweeter than _her._

Making a sound similar to _tch_, he kicks at the rocks on the ground as he wanders. He isn't heading anywhere in particular, but as he looks up, he notices an annoyingly familiar sign in front of him.

He subconsciously takes out another chocolate from the pack he was holding from before, and bites angrily into it. It wasn't the fact that Gintoki's place was in front of him that pissed him off, but that he had actually brought himself to this place.

He isn't thinking when he steers himself up the stairs and forces open the sliding door entrance.

The voice that calls out at him is apathetic and inattentive, "Pachi, is that you?! I told yourself not to show yourself here if you get any chocolates from anyone at all!"

He wonders if curing a broken heart was part of Odd Jobs' job description, but hell if he was going to admit something so embarrassing to the silver haired perm.

But there is no turning back as Gintoki trudged to the front of the house. There is annoyance in his fish eyes as Gintoki identifies his guest.

"What the hell is a bakufu bastard doing here?" The ex-joui snarls.

Fire ignites in Hijikata's glare. Then he throws the half-eaten box of chocolate towards Gintoki's face "Happy Valentines."

"Huh? Why the hell are _you_ giving chocolate to _me_!?" Gintoki cried, dodging the box to let it fall to the floor. "You taking pity on me?"

Hijikata gave a smirk, "Something wrong with that?"

"It's not like you have any right to talk - I bet you spend your valentines putting pins on voodoo dolls of couples," Gintoki retorted.

"Well, I bet you spend your valentines gulping down sake because you know deep down you're never going to get a wife!"

"I'm going to marry Ketsuno Ana!" Gintoki cries. "And I drink sake other times as well, it's not just now."

It's not a denial, and on the mention of the spirit, Hijikata can smell the strong alcoholic presence filling the air. "Urgh, you really have sake?"

There is disapproval in Hijikata's voice, but the next moment, he simply extends his hands as he barges further into Gintoki's home.

"Wha-? Woah- wait wait wait wait. What are you doing?"

"Drunking myself," Hijikata replies.

"Is that even a word?" Gintoki grumbles, but he doesn't protest as his guest sits himself down on the couch. He brings another cup, and serves the sake.

If only for today, he'll let the other man stay; because it's Valentine's day and it's less lonely if he can chug down the strong bitter sake with someone other than himself.

And the heart-shaped box of chocolate remains on the floor behind the front door. Alone and abandoned until the next time Tama would visit and get it thrown out.

* * *

><p><em>AN: A friend got me into GinHiji lately, but I still like HijiMitsu angst a lot though, so I've sort of combined them?_

_Nevertheless, whether you're a lucky bastard with a girlfriend/boyfriend/lover/whatever or a loner internet creature w/ only your OTPs for comfort, Happy Late Valentines Day!_

_Written for a request at your-fix-of-fix_tumblr_com (replace _ with . ) Feel free to request a fic of whatever fandom/type/genre there!_


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